9.28.2007

This one is juuuust right.

**This post may be considered off-color by some readers**

Urinals are amazing. It's crudely simple, but true. I can only hope the creator of the urinal had some sort of a patent on it (though my guess is it was God, with the tree). Based on the anatomical make up of males, the urinal is overwhelmingly ergonomic.

I can get passed the awkward situations created at times by "urinal etiquette," occasionally resigning myself to take a stall (but I am not above making others uncomfortable to avoid the stall). I am willing to put up with the unnecessarily obnoxious all-the-way-to-the-floor urinals (they tend to splatter). In truth, there is only one thing that really bothers me when it comes to the men's-room-line-killer.

Those freaky-deaky, super short urinals that can be easily used by NO ONE. (For those readerettes who do not know of these unpleasant contraptions, I would compare them to walking into a stall in hopes of a toilet - merely to find a Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn toilet).

These nuisances are, I can only assume, intended for young boys - well, they can just use a stall like they learned to do at their house (unless they have a urinal at their home, in which case I can't figure out why they would ever want to leave). There has been at time I attempted to use a mini-pee, but was so afraid I would actually relieve myself on-top of the contraption - I couldn't go.

All that to say, today my life changed.

Today I went into the restroom, post job interview (which is probably the subject I should be covering right now). I was astonished. Along the urinal wall (no dividers, just FYI) there were three sizes of urinal. Daddy Bear, Baby Bear...and Perfectly-normal-why-the-heck-do-you-need-another-size Bear. Considering my grand stature (6'5") I opted for the Daddy Bear.

It was too tall.

I was up on my toes, laughing out loud, when another gentleman entered the restroom. I saw him notice me and chuckle to himself. I could basically read his thoughts: "I don't know why they even have that thing in here, there is no need to mess with something as crudely simple as a urinal."

Amen, man. Amen.

5 comments:

alice-anne said...

i just laughed SO HARD.

Ian said...

How hard?

J. Cliff said...

so hard.

Anonymous said...

this is probably one of the best posts ever!

Krystle said...

oh jcliff... how i missd you...

:) thank you for this.