I have always been a fan of advertising. I am the guy who watches commercials and reads billboards. In many ways, I am an ideal consumer - if 4 out of 5 doctors recommend Colgate Total over the leading brand of toothpaste, I'm in.
IMO, one of the most fascinating forms of advertisement has always involved humans acting in the place of signposts. The sandwich board, the flyer-passer-outer, and, one of my all time favorites, the Little Caesars Pizza board-boy.
Searcy, my hometown, has gone through a wide variety of pizza-board boys. From the dancing guy (who made the front page of the Daily Citizen) to the potentially-unscrupulous implementation of a quadriplegic with a sign taped to his wheelchair (who spun in circles for hours upon hours).
Last week, however, I saw the spade that trumps them all...a heavy metal air guitar playing pizza-board boy, playing a guitar-shaped (factory made) sign. The radicity of this is not in the mere fact that Ilitch Holdings, Inc. decided to mass produce the "$5" sign in the shape of a guitar...the real faculty is the man behind the (cardboard) machine.
At the NE corner of Park and Perkins a wild-haired whippersnapper wields his ax with relentless domination. Though his headphones are nearly invisible in the mop of curly locks, they are inevitably pumping power chords, which surge through the boy's body and are lavished in a flurry of windmills and high-kicks. Spectators be damned, this future-thrasher has dedicated his entirety to the task at hand...rocking out.
Due to a flat tire, I had the opportunity to watch this jamfest for a non-stop 20 minutes (through the window of the tire store on the corner). Such a spectacle should be praised not only for the commitment to the job, but for the raw force behind the commitment.
If you are driving past the board-jammer on Park and Perkins, give a little honk...though he certainly won't hear you.
Rock on Pizza Boy, rock on.
8.11.2008
7.22.2008
Real Men of Genius
Mr. Speak Without Being Spoken To:
Sure it's the first day of classes and we are all uncomfortable and don't really know anyone, but you break all social boundaries and instigate mundane conversation with disinterested parties.
You proudly regale us with stories of how hard this teacher is and how you've already taken this class twice, so if we need help to come to you.
While society forces the rest of us to choke down our bitingly sarcastic remarks regarding your excessive passing attempts and rolling-"backpack," you don't let our fake text messaging or feigned interest in the introduction of the textbook stop you.
And if you are blatantly ignored by one person, you just keep talking and redirect your attention to the person who was enjoying listening to the first be talked to against his will.
So crack open and ice cold Bud Li...better yet, try cracking open a your book so maybe you can move on to the second semester of American history.
Sure it's the first day of classes and we are all uncomfortable and don't really know anyone, but you break all social boundaries and instigate mundane conversation with disinterested parties.
You proudly regale us with stories of how hard this teacher is and how you've already taken this class twice, so if we need help to come to you.
While society forces the rest of us to choke down our bitingly sarcastic remarks regarding your excessive passing attempts and rolling-"backpack," you don't let our fake text messaging or feigned interest in the introduction of the textbook stop you.
And if you are blatantly ignored by one person, you just keep talking and redirect your attention to the person who was enjoying listening to the first be talked to against his will.
So crack open and ice cold Bud Li...better yet, try cracking open a your book so maybe you can move on to the second semester of American history.
5.15.2008
Flummoxed
As a southern boy it is my duty to be a patron of Sonic. For the most part I am more than willing to fulfill this sweet tea heritage. It is widely known that Sonic has the best ice, their sweet tea (when on point) is the best around. They have a way of mixing the carbonation and syrup that beats the best soda jerk (or would, if I knew where to find a soda jerk). Sonic is convenient and reasonably priced for the quality of product.
When I go to Sonic I have a typical habit of pulling around to the stations opposite of the entrance. There are a few legitimate reasons for this but at this point it is primarily habit.
The reason I bring up America's Drive-In is this: today I went for lunch, something quick and easy was all I was looking for. As my companion and I rounded the corner to park on my prefered side, what did we encounter but a drive through.
Why on Earth would Sonic need a drive through? Essentially, Sonic is one large drive through. Is there a large enough market of people who do not like putting their car in reverse to constitute removing all the stations from an entire side of the establishment for the creation of a menu-board an a automatic sliding window? Is it really faster or more convenient?
I am considering stationing myself in the parking lot for the next few days questioning the drive through users about their choice. I will report my findings.
When I go to Sonic I have a typical habit of pulling around to the stations opposite of the entrance. There are a few legitimate reasons for this but at this point it is primarily habit.
The reason I bring up America's Drive-In is this: today I went for lunch, something quick and easy was all I was looking for. As my companion and I rounded the corner to park on my prefered side, what did we encounter but a drive through.
Why on Earth would Sonic need a drive through? Essentially, Sonic is one large drive through. Is there a large enough market of people who do not like putting their car in reverse to constitute removing all the stations from an entire side of the establishment for the creation of a menu-board an a automatic sliding window? Is it really faster or more convenient?
I am considering stationing myself in the parking lot for the next few days questioning the drive through users about their choice. I will report my findings.
5.14.2008
This room is not my own
I am sitting on a full bed with sheets of sea-foam green. A massive headboard carved out of a light wood, but stained to a much darker color, supports my head. A matching footboard runs along the base of the mattress - preventing my feet from hanging over the edge at the bottom (which I do not like them to do anyway, for fear of monsters under the bed).
On the north wall - the four seasons are displayed on Chinese wall hangings. Long and skinny pieces of parchment painted by the skilled hands of an blind, 89 year-old Chinese woman in the Hunan Provence who has been making similar paintings since she could hold a brush. The scene has changed in real life - but what her eyes see, and what her hand creates, is the village of her childhood.
Against the opposite wall sits a vanity - complete with a round mirror. The piece matches the solid wood of the bed. My grandmother sat here, with her wedding picture tucked into the frame of the mirror, and applied her lipstick before waking up my aunts and uncles for church every Sunday morning.
The room is a pail blue, not a far cry from the color of the bed sheets. The selection was made by the occupant of this house previous to my arrival, even prior to the arrival of the current owner.
The red plastic tubs stuffed with my summer clothes bring me comfort. My jeans thrown in the corner, waiting for a more permanent placement, actually elicit a smile.
With my life as transient as it is right now - it's nice to remember that home is simple where you do your laundry.
On the north wall - the four seasons are displayed on Chinese wall hangings. Long and skinny pieces of parchment painted by the skilled hands of an blind, 89 year-old Chinese woman in the Hunan Provence who has been making similar paintings since she could hold a brush. The scene has changed in real life - but what her eyes see, and what her hand creates, is the village of her childhood.
Against the opposite wall sits a vanity - complete with a round mirror. The piece matches the solid wood of the bed. My grandmother sat here, with her wedding picture tucked into the frame of the mirror, and applied her lipstick before waking up my aunts and uncles for church every Sunday morning.
The room is a pail blue, not a far cry from the color of the bed sheets. The selection was made by the occupant of this house previous to my arrival, even prior to the arrival of the current owner.
The red plastic tubs stuffed with my summer clothes bring me comfort. My jeans thrown in the corner, waiting for a more permanent placement, actually elicit a smile.
With my life as transient as it is right now - it's nice to remember that home is simple where you do your laundry.
5.01.2008
Lazy days
I do not have a job. I go to bed late, I wake up late. I watch Oprah and Yes Dear (the ultimate in afternoon syndication). My sweats are wearing thin, my hair is turning a different color. I can name that commercial in 2 notes.
I am on the final stretch of my current CBL stint. One week from today I will pack and go. Is this a new chapter? Is it a new volume?
I'm fairly confident this is still the prologue.
I am on the final stretch of my current CBL stint. One week from today I will pack and go. Is this a new chapter? Is it a new volume?
I'm fairly confident this is still the prologue.
4.16.2008
A list
A few things I have found out about myself, that I would normally be really aggravated or embarrassed about - but am learning to deal with:
1. I fit in in the city - but I prefer the country.
I don't know if it is my disdain for "fitting in" or if it is actual the rural appeal of farmland and green grass, but I have learned that, despite my avid love of the hustle and bustle, I truly am a country boy at heart. Nothing brings that out in me more than living in a big city.
2. Running is fun.
It's hard, it's painful and it makes me sweat (which I hate) - but damn, it's worth it. I feel healthy, toned and capable. The occasional sore muscle is now a good sign, instead of an indication of needing to back off. It clears my head.
If nothing else, running makes me feel better than all those people who don't run.
3. I like awful books.
Sure - I've read 100 Years of Solitude and Anna Karenina, but at my core I will always prefer to read Sweet Valley High and Harriet the Spy. I no longer need to read to enhance my knowledge. I need to read to escape what I already know.
1. I fit in in the city - but I prefer the country.
I don't know if it is my disdain for "fitting in" or if it is actual the rural appeal of farmland and green grass, but I have learned that, despite my avid love of the hustle and bustle, I truly am a country boy at heart. Nothing brings that out in me more than living in a big city.
2. Running is fun.
It's hard, it's painful and it makes me sweat (which I hate) - but damn, it's worth it. I feel healthy, toned and capable. The occasional sore muscle is now a good sign, instead of an indication of needing to back off. It clears my head.
If nothing else, running makes me feel better than all those people who don't run.
3. I like awful books.
Sure - I've read 100 Years of Solitude and Anna Karenina, but at my core I will always prefer to read Sweet Valley High and Harriet the Spy. I no longer need to read to enhance my knowledge. I need to read to escape what I already know.
4.04.2008
The world runs on dunkin
A few times a week I get up entirely too early in order to get to the gym before work. I have never been a morning person (or a gym person for that matter) so it still takes a lot of work to get me out of bed. I have started using tricks such as guilt, empty promises of afternoon naps, music, notes to myself...but the one thing that really gets me going in the morning is Dunkin Donuts.
On my way from the gym to my office I pass 3 DDs (mind you, this is only 8 blocks). One morning, after my work-out, I decided to stop in for some Munchkins (donut holes) and a Coffee Coolatta (essentially a coffee milkshake)...like I said, I have never been a gym person.
Dunkins in the city are fast paced, high pressure places. They are a well oiled machine of coffee and donut producing fiends. It is important to know what you will order immediately upon entrance, as you are likely to be called upon even when you are 6-10 people back in the line. So, my first morning in the store, in my scattered flurry of options I blurted out, "A dozen Munchkins and a large Coffee Coolatta." (Ordering under pressure has never been my strong suit - which is why I grew up ordering Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers...without bacon or cheese.)
Another thing about the Dunkin Donuts on 6th and Market - they always remember your order.
For the past month+ I have been "ordering" a large Coffee Coolatta and a dozen Munchkins. I want to branch out, I want to cut back...
I think I am going to have to change venues.
Yes, the world runs on Dunkin. Perhaps, however, not by choice.
On my way from the gym to my office I pass 3 DDs (mind you, this is only 8 blocks). One morning, after my work-out, I decided to stop in for some Munchkins (donut holes) and a Coffee Coolatta (essentially a coffee milkshake)...like I said, I have never been a gym person.
Dunkins in the city are fast paced, high pressure places. They are a well oiled machine of coffee and donut producing fiends. It is important to know what you will order immediately upon entrance, as you are likely to be called upon even when you are 6-10 people back in the line. So, my first morning in the store, in my scattered flurry of options I blurted out, "A dozen Munchkins and a large Coffee Coolatta." (Ordering under pressure has never been my strong suit - which is why I grew up ordering Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers...without bacon or cheese.)
Another thing about the Dunkin Donuts on 6th and Market - they always remember your order.
For the past month+ I have been "ordering" a large Coffee Coolatta and a dozen Munchkins. I want to branch out, I want to cut back...
I think I am going to have to change venues.
Yes, the world runs on Dunkin. Perhaps, however, not by choice.
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